Successful potty training for boys

Highlights

Let him watch and learn
Buy the right equipment
Help your child get comfortable with the potty
Motivate with cool underwear
Set up a training schedule
Teach him to sit first, then stand
Set aside some naked time
Celebrate triumphs
If at first he doesn't succeed, try, try again
Raise the fun factor
Move into night mode
Ditch the diapers

You'll miss many things once your baby grows up, but changing dirty diapers probably won't be one of them. Still, it doesn't pay to be in a hurry: Teaching your son how to use the potty will require time and patience on your part, and a reasonable degree of cooperation and motivation on your son's.

The key to potty training success is starting only when your son is truly able to do so. While some kids can start as young as 18 months, others may not be prepared to learn until well into their fourth year. As you may already have discovered, boys tend to stay in diapers longer than girls, and second (or subsequent) children often learn faster than firstborns. There's no point in trying to get a head start; studies show that when parents begin potty training too soon, the process simply takes longer to complete. In other words, you arrive at your destination at the same time, no matter when you start. So the first thing to do is use our checklist to see whether your son is primed for potty training.

Once you've determined that your son is ready, focus on timing. Make sure your child's routine is well established; if he's just started at preschool or has a new sibling, he may be less receptive to change, or feel too overwhelmed to tackle this new challenge. Wait until he seems open to new ideas so you can potty train successfully. To train, follow these steps:

Let him watch and learn

Toddlers learn by imitation, and watching you use the bathroom is a natural first step. He may notice that Daddy uses the potty differently from Mommy, which opens up a great opportunity for you to explain the basic mechanics of how boys use the bathroom. When talking about body parts, it's important to be anatomically precise. Teaching him to call his penis a "pee-pee" when every other body part has a more adult-sounding name may imply that his genitals are embarrassing.


Buy the right equipment

Most experts advise buying a child-sized potty, which your toddler can claim for his own and which will also feel more secure to him than a full-size toilet. (Many toddlers fear falling into the toilet, and their anxiety can interfere with potty training.) If you prefer to buy an adapter seat for your regular toilet, make sure it feels comfy and secure and attaches firmly. If you go this route, you'll also need to provide your son with a stool, since it's important that he be able to maneuver his way on and off the potty easily any time he needs to go and to stabilize himself with his feet to push during bowel movements.

When buying a potty-chair for your son, look for one without a urine guard (or one you can remove). While they may protect your bathroom from a little stray pee, more often they tend to bump into and scrape a boy's penis when he sits down on the potty, potentially causing him to associate going to the bathroom with pain. Yikes!

You may also want to pick up a few picture books or videos for your son, which can make it easier for him to grasp all this new information. Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi, is a perennial favorite, as is Uh, Oh! Gotta Go! and Once Upon a Potty, which even comes in a version with a doll and a miniature potty.

Help your child get comfortable with the pottyThis early in the process, your child needs to get used to the idea of using the potty. Start by letting him know that the potty-chair is his very own; you can personalize it by writing his name on it or letting him decorate it with stickers. Then have him try sitting on it with his clothes on. After he's practiced this way for a week or so, you can suggest he try it with his pants down. If he seems at all resistant, avoid any temptation to pressure him. That will only set up a power struggle that could derail the entire process.
If your child has a favorite doll or stuffed animal, try using it for potty demonstrations. Most children enjoy watching their favorite toy go through the motions, and may learn more this way than from you telling them what to do. Some parents even construct a makeshift toilet for the doll or stuffed animal; while your child is perched on his chair, his favorite toy can be sitting on its own potty. See tips on how to start potty training.